Gross Taste In Food Leads Nixon to Resign

On August 9, 1974 Richard Nixon's resignation took effect, having formally resigned in a speech the prior evening. As a pre-teen, this wasn’t a particularly important event for me but it was obviously a momentous event in American history. As I learned more about Nixon in subsequent years I found him to be a very intriguing guy. He said “I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin, you never know if someone's tape recording what you say” and then proceeded to destroy his presidency by taping himself. He said “I have no enemies in the press” but told the press “you won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore”. He inspired such a level of scorn that Kennedy said "Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Richard Nixon and the White House," and Truman said “Nixon is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar. . . . .He's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides;” yet who also inspired Governor Ahhhnold to become a Republican. And he's a guy who’s favorite lunch was cottage cheese with ketchup on it.

That is, in a word, gross. I mean cottage cheese isn’t particularly appetizing in the first place. Even if adding ketchup improved the taste, the look, texture and idea is just too awful to even try. Personally, I think ketchup is an absolutely necessity for a few select uses: a condiment for burgers, fries and onion rings, a base for BBQ sauces if you don’t feel like starting completely from scratch, and as an occasional use to spice up some other sauces. The only ketchup to use of course is Heinz. However, like Coke, most ketchup including Heinz is loaded with our old friend High Fructose Corn Syrup.

What's the alternative? Banana sauce. It tastes amazingly similar to ketchup, which is somewhat startling since it's not particularly easy to confuse the taste of tomatoes and bananas. Of course ketchup was originally a Chinese condiment made from anchovies, and when it became popular in the West in England it was made from mushrooms. So there's a lot of latitude here. Like regular tomato ketchup, banana sauce varies considerably in taste between brands. Every one I've seen uses real sugar - although in some cases like the Jufran here there's also a bevy of artificial colors and preservatives. Jufran isn't a favorite, but it's what they had the last time I needed it in a hurry. Oriental markets usually have a couple of brands, and it's available in regular and hot. It's fine on a burger although I don't go there because that's Heinz's sweet spot. When I make my annual old fashioned meat loaf, I glaze the top with it. It makes an awesome base for BBQ sauce, which is how I usually use it. A particularly excellent version blends it with coffee: combine 1 cup of it along with 1/2 cup each of cider vinegar, brown sugar, and strong coffee. Simmer this with an onion, a couple cloves of garlic, 2-4 jalapeños, and 2 tablespoons of dry mustard. Puree in a blender, and then use on pork loin or chops, or on chicken wings.