Now I didn’t buy groceries much in the early 80’s and I don’t
remember those prices exactly but I can
guarantee that a hunk of ground beef that cost $2.26 last year (and which would
cost at least $2.50 now) was a helluva lot less than $1.00 in 1985. The Big Mac index has the price of a Big Mac
at $1.60 in 1985 versus $3.80 in 2011 (and I bet McDonalds has shrunk their
margins on Big Macs to contain the cost of the ingredients). I did
buy groceries a lot starting in the early 90s and I rather specifically
remember buying pork ribs to BBQ and chicken to grill at well under a dollar a
pound, like $.59 (ish). Today, (St. Louis cut, the only one of course to BBQ) ribs
at Coscto are $2.99 - $3.99 a pound.
Yes, once again (like with the unemployment rate) our Federal
leaders prove they subscribe to The Goebbels school of communications
(and I prove Godwins law).
So, on to the real point: BBQ. The original premise of BBQ was
to take a cheap, tough cut of meat and transform it into something awesome with
a prodigious investment of time and care. With beef brisket as the ultimate example
because it was so cheap (I’m thinking the first brisket I bought to BBQ was a $1.49
pound), so awful unless it’s cooked properly for ages and when BBQ’d correctly,
mind-bogglingly awesome. Exhibit A is Franklin’s in Austin, pretty much
considered to be the pinnacle of Brisket art these days: people will line up
for up to 3 hours each day to get their remarkably tender, unctuous and fabulous
brisket before it’s gone by 2PM (shout out to Ben Phenix for taking on line
duty so I could experience this myself).
But Houston, we have a problem. Because beef brisket now
costs as much as steak. So the risk reward scale is way out of whack because if you don’t nail it you’ve
screwed up a $100 chunk of meat, and even if you do nail it it’s anathema
to the original premise of the craft. In fact, given shrinkage, even without
the time investment it’s far more cost effective to feed a dozen people steak
or prime rib than it is to feed them brisket. Factor in the time and the effective cost brisket is up there with lobster (unless you're a telecom lawyer in which case it's like truffles).
So, if you want to remain true to the original premise of BBQ,
brisket is off the menu. In fact, so is pretty
anything that came from a cow (or a sheep). Beef shanks –
virtually free when the CPI was at 100, are now $5 a pound +/-, and half of
that weight is bone. Same for oxtails. Whole
lamb shanks (which are spectacular when BBQ’d right) are at least that.
Fortunately, there is (at least for now) the fabulous and
still (relatively) humble pig. $15 will still buy a 6-7 pound pork butt or
shoulder which can be turned into something special. Good news for everyone but the kosher and
hallal amongst us.
Yet, shockingly enough, that’s a lot higher than it would
have been and likely to rise more quickly because the Feds are trying
to raise meat prices (!). Because we all know what’s much more important than
the health of the nation’s economy is buying votes in key states like Iowa in
the months before an election. And of course the reason meat is so expensive in
the first place is the insane ethanol mandate (another vote buying effort in
the guise of energy policy) which consumes 40% of our corn to create fuel that
uses more energy to produce than it provides, is more expensive than gasoline
(if you remove all the subsidies), and lowers our gas mileage (so we’re paying
for it yet again).
Back, unavoidably, to politics. What shall it be: wrist
slitting or murderous rage?
