Walking the Plank

From countless hours of observation he knew his preys habits all too well, and so he laid in wait knowing it was only a matter of time. Sure enough, after only the briefest of waits, his quarry was snared. Quickly, and without remorse, he untangled the net; a few sharp blows from a rock and brief flurry of expert blade work, and the bloody act was done. The body was gutted and splayed out on an alder wood litter, and all that was left was to build a fire to finish the deed.

The story of a grotesque murder? No – a Northwestern American Indian dinner party with planked salmon as the featured entre. An easy meal for them and easier for us us because we don’t have to catch and gut the salmon. And really hard to screw up and so most excellent for a large group gathering where the inevitable distractions of the cook can turn a nice piece of fish into trash in 3 minutes. A well soaked plank protects the fish from drying out even if overcooked by a fair bit, and if it is there’s even some upside in more woodsy flavor. Painting the fish with Dijon adds an extra layer of protection; sprinkle it with brown sugar to get a nice crust which you can deepen up with a closely watched 2 minutes under the broiler if desired. Extra bonus: the fish is on its own serving platter/cutting board that you can throw out when you’re done.

The down side is for a large group you need to serve something else since there are too many fish phobic eaters out there. My solution is to grill thick NY strips and then slap the salmon on the grill while the steaks rest.

Although its a classic pairing I stay away from the Pinot Noir with salmon because I’m a stereotyping bastard who believes PN is too often overpriced and hit or miss. I’ve had more bad bottles of Pinot Noir than probably all other wines put together. It wouldn’t hold up to the steak anyway, so you’d have to serve 2 reds at a time plus a white. The solution: merlot, or a medium bodied, low tannin cabernet. Bonus: medium bodied and low tannin should also mean cheap.

There’s no going wrong with good NZ SB as an aperitif that can segue into dinner; these wines are amazingly versatile and everyone seems to love them. We served both Crossings (my take on that is a few entries down) and the 06 Kim Crawford which is a really nice wine; a bit more fruit and less grass than the Crossings, Nobilo, and a lot of other NZ SBs. Still plenty of acidity, a bit steely, and enough different flavors to complement a huge range of food. A good bargain, and I think this one turns up in supermarkets and if so it’s a great last minute pickup.

I had a gifted bottle of 2004 Estancia Cab on hand which I figured would meet the criteria of medium bodied and low tannin. Bingo. It was all that, and also very fruity; a bit sweeter than I’d have imagined, but not at all cloying. It had a nice discernable oak flavor that was still subtle enough that it matched up with the cedar in the salmon. In fact, this was one of the most serendipitous pairings I can remember. It was pretty much dead on perfect with the salmon and was a credible enough match for the steak although you could do far better there. I’m thinking this is a supermarket wine also; I’d buy it for planked salmon and it would make a good generic red pour that would match up well with lots of food.

To go just with the steaks (coffee rubbed) I opened a 2004 Footbolt and my last bottle of ’03 Marambro Creek. No surprises here at all; both wines were thick, jammy, spicy and meaty. The coffee notes of the Footbolt were a great complement to the subtle coffee of the steak. The Marambro was, as I recall, a $11 bottle that really improved over the last couple of years and was definitely a bargain. I’d happily scarf some up again if it was available, but at $15 at Costco the Footbolt is a happy alternative that probably will also benefit from a touch more time.

Today in history: The Ice Cream Cone Not Invented

If you probe around various history sites you’ll be informed that 104 years ago today Charles E. Menches of St. Louis conceived the idea of filling a pastry cone with ice cream and thereby invented the ice cream cone. So a lazy, trusting writer might conclude that this is a momentous day. However, poke around further and you find that nearly 100 years before that there was at least one painting that showed someone eating ice cream from a cone. And over 15 years earlier in 1888a cookbook (Mrs. Marshall’s Cookery Book – a bargain at $212.50 at Amazon) speaks of ice cream served in cones. And that at least two patents were granted prior to this date for machinery to make ice cream cones. So saying that Mr. Menches invented the ice cream cone is approximately the same as saying Madonna invented the breast cone. Apparently, like Madonna, Mr. Menches had an excellent publicist.

BTW, the sort of gluey mouth feel you get from an ice cream cone comes from tapioca flour.

Regardless of who invented it, the ice cream cone was a huge improvement in portable ice cream and soon became the standard for ice cream on the go. It stood as the single biggest innovation in ice cream for ¾ of a century until the 70’s when the world was rocked by Tom Carvel’s release of Cookiepuss – which of course couldn’t have existed without the ice cream cone. The Cookie Puss commercial is a TV classic.

I’ve emailed Masaharu Morimoto to find out what sort of cone – regular, sugar or waffle – he suggests to go with his trout ice cream. I’ll let you know when I get a response.

The Greatest Marketing Coup/Screwup Ever

On July 10 1985 Coca-Cola re-introduced their original formulation after what was perceived as a disastrous move to reformulate their flagship drink in order to fight off Pepsi’s steady erosion of their once-dominant market share. Depending on your point of view, this was a classic example of how you can do everything right and still lose or do everything wrong and still win.

The introduction of the new Coke was actually a success in terms of sales. But Coke’s then-CEO bombed on stage during the launch, stumbling through a description of the new taste smoother, uh, uh, yet, uh, rounder yet, uh, bolder ... it has a more harmonious flavor”. What the hell does that mean? And even though the sales and market research results were in line with Coke’s expectations in most markets, a vocal group of core Coke fanatics complained vociferously enough to give the impression of a bumbling failure, with help of course from the nice folks at Pepsi.

So, 77 days after the new product launch, they announced the return of the old formula – initially as Coke Classic to be sold side by side with new Coke. Peter Jennings interrupted his regular broadcast with the news, and the entire episode moved quickly into lore as one of the greatest corporate blunders in history. Pepsi executives compared it to the Edsel. But in reality, it ended up as a raging success – it firmly established the Coke brand as more than just s soft drink but an engrained lifestyle symbol, Coke sales were invigorated, and it paved the way for later successful brand extensions like Cherry Coke.

Cola drinks were designed essentially as delivery mechanisms for speed – both from coca leaves and caffeine-rich Kola nuts, the two speed sources that gave the original Coca-Cola its name. Neither one of these things adds any real flavor you’d want. And while the Coca-Cola formula is famously top-secret it’s a safe bet neither is still in there. The actual flavor of cola is a combination called fantasia by flavor technicians, which is a mix of citrus flavors, vanilla and cassis or cinnamon.

Cola is great to cook with, other than the fact that its loaded with high fructose corn syrup which isn’t an ingredient most chefs place on their list of favorites. Then again, pretty much any commercial product is loaded with the crap, including Heinz ketchup and most COTS BBQ sauce. If you want to cook with Coca-Cola but avoid HFCS, you have two options. First, in early April, scour the stores in areas with Jewish communities for Kosher for Passover Coke, which is made with cane sugar. Act fast because it’s snapped up quickly. Or plan a quick jaunt to Mexico and grab some Mexican coke, which also is. Or search out Boylans cola. Or just give in to chemistry, grab a chuck roast, and do the following:

- mix 1/2 cup of flour with 2 tablespoons Montreal seasoning

- dust the roast with this, and then sear it in some olive oil in a dutch oven

- toss in a chopped onion, 3 cloves of garlic, a chopped jalapeno, a can of Coke, and a 28oz can of crushed tomatoes

- season with S&P, cover, and cook at 350 for 3 hours

This is a great barbecue–like pot roast which can be either sliced and served or shredded for pulled beef sandwiches.

Listen to your elders

The headliner last night was Sons of Eden Romulus, 2003, a wine that Ben was told compared favorably to D'Arenberg The Deadarm - a very bold statement. Wines of that caliber are worth planning a meal around. A big Aussie Shiraz like that would typically call for simply grilled lamb or other red meat. Although assertive shiraz's are also great with classic BBQ'd ribs - but with a pedigreed wine most experts would recommend against highly seasoned foods like ribs to avoid masking the nuances. I agree, but that's no excuse not to try it. So I made both. After decanting we polished off a bottle of Segura Viudas Reserva Heredad while letting the Romulus open up - as always it was superb, with the dryness, toast and creaminess of vintage champagne at a fraction of the cost.

The Romulus was deep, intense and peppery with a raspberry nose. The ribs - simply rubbed, smoked and very lightly sauced with COTS Baby Rays - did it no justice at all. It was enjoyable, and you could feel the weight and structure, but the sweetness and spiciness of the ribs just flattened out. With the grilled rack of lamb (rubbed with rosemary and garlic) it was a whole different wine. Incense and current flavors became apparent, and the wine was much more balanced. Even after an hour of decanting this wine was still closed and the extra time in the glass really helped. It will certainly benefit greatly from a few years of aging.

Since excess is important to me I also stuffed a chicken with herbed goat cheese and smoked it, and for this I quizzed my trusted adviser JP at the wine shop who suggested a white Chateauneuf-du-Pape or a Sauvignon Blanc because he thought the chicken would overpower a rich wine - better to go with a crisper complement. But I had a buttery chardonnay in mind, and the 2004 Sbradgia Gamble Estate caught my eye.

This is an incredible wine, with unique flavors that has Ben and I struggling to come up with a description. I'd say honey, tropical fruit and watermelon, with just a hint of oak. It had incredible structure with a syrupy consistency that fortunately belied the balanced fruitiness. Really a great wine. However, the chicken did the wine absolutely no justice. Zippo. With the chicken the wine was B-Flat; with a piece of buttered Gruyere bread it was sublime.

The bottle of 2005 Brunel Les Cailloix Chateauneuf-du-Pape JP recommended sits in the fridge - I'm certain it would have been perfect with the bird.

Moral of the story: sometimes you really should listen to your elders.

Hello Dolly

The Roslin Institute in Edinburgh, Scotland worked for years trying to successfully clone a mammal. Finally, in 1996, they succeeded – and on July 5th of that year 6LL3 was born. This was of course a sheep, later renamed Dolly. Suddenly, there was the real prospect that decades of science fiction plots could someday become reality I can’t confirm the reports that the research team had a business plan to market cloned perfect sheep like Dolly in Scotland as “basic pleasure models” ala Blade Runner; it is true however that Dolly had debilitating arthritis that restricted her mobility and would thus render her unable to resist advances from frisky would be paramours. By the way, the proper term for sex with a sheep is tupping.

Supposedly the name Dolly was chosen in honor of Dolly Parton because the animal was cloned from a mammary cell.

Scottish Beauty Pageant

Not being Scottish I don’t have amorous thoughts about sheep; when I think of a sheep I think leg of lamb. I know many people aren’t particularly fond of lamb; it can be gamey and at times tough. But the same commercial practices that removed much of the flavor from supermarket beef and pork have worked in favor of lamb. I’ve found lamb purchased these days is far milder than it used to be and has much less gamey aroma. Lamb really absorbs flavors from marinades and can stand a couple of days in an acidic marinade without getting too mushy. And it develops a fabulous crust when grilled or smoked.

One of the best lamb dishes I’ve made is also one of the easiest. You need a large onion, a half dozen cloves of garlic, some olive oil, and martini fixings (with lemon).

Fix a generous double martini – not too dry. Pour half into a martini glass and add your lemon twist. That’s yours to drink while you proceed. Pour the other half into a blender or food processor. Add a matching quantity of olive oil. Zest in the rest of the lemon peel and squeeze in the lemon juice. Chop the onion and add it along with the garlic and a teaspoon of salt. Blend or process until it’s smooth. Marinate your leg of lamb in this overnight, and then grill or smoke to taste - about 140 for medium rare. If you smoke, use a fruit wood, oak, or grape vines.

This is great with a big Zinfandel – anything from Rosenblum or Ridge. The current cheap Rosenblum (eg Vintners Cuvee) is XXIX which gets back on track as a sub $10 bargain after a couple lesser efforts.