How politics is screwing up BBQ

So, I have my technology/business thoughts blog, The Comvolution, and this one, which is about food, with occasional rants.  Although I try and limit political ones because thinking about politics enough to write intelligently about it will either be wrist-slitting depressing or one of the activities “Most Likely to Drive Someone on a Murderous Rage”.  However, as a funny adjunct to this (food-related post), here’s a link to the official CPI.

Now I didn’t buy groceries much in the early 80’s and I don’t remember those prices exactly  but I can guarantee that a hunk of ground beef that cost $2.26 last year (and which would cost at least $2.50 now) was a helluva lot less than $1.00 in 1985.  The Big Mac index has the price of a Big Mac at $1.60 in 1985 versus $3.80 in 2011 (and I bet McDonalds has shrunk their margins on Big Macs to contain the cost of the ingredients).   I did buy groceries a lot starting in the early 90s and I rather specifically remember buying pork ribs to BBQ and chicken to grill at well under a dollar a pound, like $.59 (ish). Today, (St. Louis cut, the only one of course to BBQ) ribs at Coscto  are $2.99 - $3.99 a pound. 

Yes, once again (like with the unemployment rate) our Federal leaders prove they subscribe to The Goebbels school of communications (and I prove Godwins law).

So, on to the real point: BBQ. The original premise of BBQ was to take a cheap, tough cut of meat and transform it into something awesome with a prodigious investment of time and care. With beef brisket as the ultimate example because it was so cheap (I’m thinking the first brisket I bought to BBQ was a $1.49 pound), so awful unless it’s cooked properly for ages and when BBQ’d correctly, mind-bogglingly awesome. Exhibit A is Franklin’s in Austin, pretty much considered to be the pinnacle of Brisket art these days: people will line up for up to 3 hours each day to get their remarkably tender, unctuous and fabulous brisket before it’s gone by 2PM (shout out to Ben Phenix for taking on line duty so I could experience this myself).  

But Houston, we have a problem. Because beef brisket now costs as much as steak.  So the risk reward scale is way out of whack because if you don’t nail it you’ve screwed up a $100 chunk of meat, and even if you do nail it it’s anathema to the original premise of the craft. In fact, given shrinkage, even without the time investment it’s far more cost effective to feed a dozen people steak or prime rib than it is to feed them brisket.  Factor in the time and the effective cost brisket is up there with lobster (unless you're a telecom lawyer in which case it's like truffles).

So, if you want to remain true to the original premise of BBQ, brisket is off the menu.  In fact, so is pretty anything that came from a cow (or a sheep). Beef shanks – virtually free when the CPI was at 100, are now $5 a pound +/-, and half of that weight is bone. Same for oxtails.  Whole lamb shanks (which are spectacular when BBQ’d right) are at least that.

Fortunately, there is (at least for now) the fabulous and still (relatively) humble pig. $15 will still buy a 6-7 pound pork butt or shoulder which can be turned into something special.  Good news for everyone but the kosher and hallal amongst us.

Yet, shockingly enough, that’s a lot higher than it would have been and likely to rise more quickly because the Feds are trying to raise meat prices (!). Because we all know what’s much more important than the health of the nation’s economy is buying votes in key states like Iowa in the months before an election. And of course the reason meat is so expensive in the first place is the insane ethanol mandate (another vote buying effort in the guise of energy policy) which consumes 40% of our corn to create fuel that uses more energy to produce than it provides, is more expensive than gasoline (if you remove all the subsidies), and lowers our gas mileage (so we’re paying for it yet again).  

Back, unavoidably, to politics. What shall it be: wrist slitting or murderous rage?

Tastes like chicken?

That's the line you hear about all kinds of unfamiliar proteins. The cliche even gets its own Wikipedia entry. Its not like that's saying much since chicken is relatively bland and pretty much a canvas for whatever you're seasoning it with. Still, in my time in Holland where my main meal of the day was lunch in the canteen, I ate tons of it. They served it alot, and even in the canteen (not the pinnacle of cuisine by any means) it was normally pretty good. Always a vehicle for the seasoning, it still tasted...distinctively..."chickeny".

It's said you can judge the quality of a French bistro by their roast chicken. I've had some pretty amazing roast chicken in France, usually with no sauce at all - just basically seasoned and perfectly roasted and somehow on the plate its far more than the sum of its parts. And I'm usually pretty happy with the chickens I make, although I don't roast them - I either smoke them, or "smoke grill" them on the Weber kettle which I think is the ultimate cooking method for chicken. In less than 2 hours the chickens get infused with perfect smoky flavor, fabulously crisp skin, and come out incredibly juicy.

The other day I was relatively rushed for wall clock time to make dinner. I had the 2 hours to cook it, but not the 4-6 hours to brine it. I've always brined chickens and turkeys regardless of how I cook them - got in the habit early on and its just hard wired into my preparation. But I didn't have the time, and I figured no biggie - won't be the best bird I ever make, but should be fine. Particularly since I was using what I usually do - a Purdue Oven Stuffer (don't see the point in bothering to cook a scrawny 3 pound bird). An 8 pounder gets 2 full hours on the grill, which imparts lots of smoke. And I spatchcoc them, so there's also plenty of surface area to season.

It was gorgeous and perrectly cooked as it always seems to be with smoke grilling - somehow there's a ton of margin for error there. Plenty of smoke flavor. Nice notes from the garlic and herbs I rubbed the skin with. But once you got past the seasoned surfaces, the chicken tasted approximately what I'd imagine Soylent Green tastes like. It didn't taste like chicken. It tasted like nothing.

I've always scoffed at the idea of free range chicken at 2-4x the price of the generic stuff. Even though I'm usually fanatic about ingredients chicken was one where it seemed the generic market stuff was just fine. But I guess its not fine. Its the brine.

So now I'm off to find a chicken that tastes like chicken.

Back Quackin

After my hiatus in Europe (with lots of eating and drinking, but no cooking to speak of), its back stateside and back to at least an occasional update.

My first venture back in the kitchen: smoked peking style duck, with a chicken on the side. I've had mixed experiences with how much edible duck you can actually get from a duck, even a big 6 pounder like this one. Plus Simone refuses - on grounds of general cuteness - to eat duck. So I figured tossing a chicken in the smoker would provide both food for the squirt and a hedge on the duck.

This turned out to be nothing less than a stroke of brilliance. Smoking is a fabulous way to cook duck, since the long slow heat both renders out lots of fat and infuses the fat that's left with fabulous smokey goodness. And what happens to that tasty fat when it renders out of the duck? Usually, not much. However, put a chicken on the rack underneath the duck, and Voila! The chicken gets constantly basted with a delicious stream of smokey duck fat. The end result: the moistest chicken I've ever cooked, even though I smoked it past the temperature I prefer to because of the squirts general aversion to pinkish chicken meat.

Both birds wer brined in basic brine for about 6 hours. They were both about 6 pounds; the chicken just a bit more. About 5 hours over a combination of oak, pear and cherry. The duck was mopped over the last 2 hours with a mixture of honey, port and soy sauce. The chicken was untouched save for the fatty baste from the duck and whatever mop might have dripped onto it. The results on both sides were magnificent - really didn't need a thing. But a side saiuce of 1/3 Siricha and 2/3 Kewpie mayo gilded the lily.

For a side, a mix of quinoa and kasha with madiera, tamari, fresh basil and cilantro and fresh sesame leaves. I didn't even know there was such a thing as sesame leaves but after trying them I thought they'd be a perfect addition. Sort of a cross between basil, mint and tarragon.

The salad is spinach, arugula, avocado, scallion, strawberries and red pepper queso fresco in a peach vinigrette. The dressing was pretty good but not close to the stuff American Flatbread dressed their spinach salad with the night before at their beer tasting dinner. I got lazy on the salad ingredients - they were from H-Mart. AF doesn't do that, and it shows.

The Great Cheesesteak Debate

For whatever reason I've become less and less enthralled with either cooking or eating "fussy" food and increasingly intrigued with authentic local and ethnic foods and the idea of comparing and critiquing different renditions of them. As an ex-NYer, this is probably innate - I'm capable of analyzing a pastrami sandwich or slice of pizza with the detail and critical, detached mien of a medical examiner and arguing the relative merits of different versions like a trial lawyer. As a current Washingtonian, there's not really a"local" food to apply this skill to. Maybe a crab cake, but that really belongs to the PROM (Peoples Republic of Maryland). So I’m turning to other regions. This is somewhat tricky since I can’t say what’s actually authentic in places I haven’t lived – but I can say what’s good.

Item 1: the Philly cheesesteak. This is an interesting one because quality ingredients are anathema - authenticity apparently demands cheap cuts of beef and Cheese Whiz. And there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of potential variation in the cooking process. Whatever. The debate in Philly about where to get the best is heated, and lines form around the block of the most popular purveyors – the most renowned of which are Pats and Genos. Now, as you’ll often find with places that become icons, many critical locals deride both of them as tourist traps. However, that’s part of the point here. If I lived in Philly I’d immediately embark on a quest for the best – but as a tourist searching for authenticity these seemed like the must-try places. And, conveniently located across the block from each other, they’re perfect for a taste-off.

At 5:30 on a Saturday afternoon, both had fair sized but not terribly daunting lines. Pats line seemed shorter, but the wait ended up far longer. The Geno’s sandwich ordered wiz wit came just that way, cheese whiz and onions. At Pats apparently mushrooms are also an option (my wife did the ordering there) and that one came with whiz, mushrooms and onions.

The Geno’s sandwich came on a soft roll with no real texture to the crust but a nice taste to the bread and interesting overall soft but chewy texture. The Pats roll had a relatively firm crust and with an airy interior, and was devoid of taste. Sort of like Styrofoam with a thin layer of cardboard on top.

The meat in the Geno’s sandwich was quite tender. No knives were available to slice the thing in two for taste testing, but between the plastic fork and pulling it apart it was doable. The meat in the Pats sandwich was tough and elastic. While the bread separated easily, the plastic fork was no match for the rubbery meat which was also impervious to separation by pulling. I honestly don’t know what texture you’re striving for in a perfect authentic cheesesteak but I doubt it’s akin to rubber Kevlar which is what the Pats steak was like.

Taste-wise, I don’ know if or how they season the meat at Genos, but it tasted wonderfully beefy and well-seasoned, if not by application of spices than by contact with the grill. The Pats beef was stunningly devoid of taste – nothing more than a tough vehicle for the whiz, onions and mushrooms; somehow the veggies were also relatively tasteless, unlike the Geno’s onions which were wonderfully sweet and rich without any burnt notes that you can get when frying onions.

The verdict? No contest. While it’s a greasy nutritional nightmare made with crap ingredients, the Geno’s sandwich made it easy to see why locals wax poetic about Philly cheesesteaks and line up for a block to get one after a night of drinking – while I was stone sober, I know I’d love one of these things at 2AM. The Pats sandwich, on the other hand, was so lame it was like a play for the AMA or Self magazine - no reason to risk cardiac arrest or sacrifice your diet because a plate of salted tofu and lettuce would be every bit as tasty.

49 years ago: 1st spaceship orbits the sun

So, since it was a whole day since I’d done any serious drinking, and always wanting a good reason to celebrate, I deemed the Luna 1 Moon shot a worthy excuse. Luna 1 was launched by the USSR in the early days of the space race, January 2, 1959. It was meant to be the first spacecraft to orbit the moon. But a malfunction in the ground-based control system caused an error in the rocket's burntime, and it missed. By 5,900 km. As Maxwell Smart (Don Adams, RIP) would say, “Missed it by that much.”

Given the draconian regime at the time I’d imagine mission control was a pretty dire place when Luna 1 went awry. No doubt more than a couple engineers were assigned exciting new careers in Siberia – or consigned to even worse fates. Too bad for them that they didn’t live in the era of spin control. Because while Luna 1 missed the moon, it did become the first spacecraft from Earth to successfully orbit the sun. Today they’d probably be heroes.

Having spent some time in Russia, I can report its amazingly easy to celebrate in authentic Russian style. There’s one essential - vodka – and it requires absolutely (pun!) no preparation. Unless you consider sticking the bottle in the freezer preparation, and even then lack of a proper chill wouldn’t prevent any self-respecting Russian from banging back a few shots of vodka. Maybe even before lunch. But with a snack. When you drink, you eat. When you eat, you drink.

A Ukrainian friend swears cod livers are the perfect nibble between shots of vodka to keep you standing longer and prevent hangovers. Cod livers come in a little can that looks like a cat food can. Once you open it, you find the stuff inside looks and smells a lot like cat food too. Only worse. I had no desire to validate his contention, but one time a friend popped one of the nickel sized livers in my open mouth mid-sentence. It was what I imagine cat food tastes like. Only worse

The real deal Russian vodka that we always drank over there and my Eastern European friend rave about is Moskavanya (green label). It’s actually pretty cheap if you can find it. We have stash, andI drank a few shots of it. Although with chicken wings instead of cod livers.

Recipe for a Recession

I guess this is pretty easy one.
- Issue scads of low-interest variable rate mortgages to people who could barely afford them
- Raise interest rates to burst the housing bubble and drive housing prices down thus rendering said mortgages simultaneously unaffordable and un-refinancable
- Nearly double the price of oil and gas, jacking up the basic cost of daily living and the price of everything you buy including food.
- Create a frenzy to produce ethanol from corn, rocketing up the price of the one item that pretty much our entire food chain is based on.
- Set timer, sit back and wait.

That's an easy recipe for a recession. Now that its here, lets look at some recipes that are great to make in a recession (in other words, cheap).

Fusion Hummus

You can buy a small tub of hummus in the grocery store for $3. Or you can make 3x as much for about $1.50, and it'll be better. Hummus is great stuff. Its relatively healthy, cheap, and can be made in 5 minutes from pantry ingredients so you don't have to make a special shopping trip. Basic hummus is just chickpeas, olive oil, garlic and lemon juice whizzed up in a processor. It's much better with tahini (sesame seed paste) added, but tahini's not a pantry item for most people. IMHO hummus is better using a pantry staple: peanut butter. With that, a dash of sesame oil, and fermented black beans, you get the basic hummus flavor but with a mysterious (unless you know whats in it) and fabulous added flavor note that makes it addictively good and a more versatile complement to non-Mediterranean dishes including Asian, Southwest, BBQ, and others.

3 cups chickpeas (2 washed cans, or use reconstituted dried beans)
3 cloves garlic
3 TBSP peanut butter
2 TBSP olive oil
2 TSP sesame oil
1 1/2 TBSP fermented black beans
3/4 TSP salt
Juice from one large lemon, divided in half

Whiz the ingredients in a processor with half the lemon juice in a processor. Taste. The amount of lemon is really a matter of taste; add more lemon juice (and salt) as needed. That's it.

This makes a big 2+ cup batch which will keep weeks in the fridge. Its no problem to halve it, but if you serve it to a crowd you might be surprised at how much they eat. It's really good, much more so that run of the mill hummus.

All the ususal dip uses plus a great sandwich condiment with veggies or smoked turkey'; add chopped up chicken and sweet onion for an awesome and healthier chicken salad; or spread on top of a salmon fillet and broil.

Lamb Ice Cream!!

The height of the 12 course tasting menu at Avenues - Lamb Ice Cream, on top of a a blue cheese cheesecake. Bizarrely fabulous. Woke up this AM jonesing for more, but that wasn't going to happen. So instead we decided to do short ribs to riff on the Kobe Beef short ribs they paired up with a squab breast. Just used the pot roast recipe below but with 1/2 cup more wine, left out the mushrooms and subbed in short ribs (about a dozen) for the chuck. Cooked for 3 hours, cooled, ditched the bones, skimmed and trimmed the fat, then back into the broth for another hour at 400. One more skim and trim, and then put the pieces under the broiler for about 8 minutes to crisp up.

The Brisket Hut

I'm back. And tday is Sukkot, the Jewish holiday meant to be celebrated by eating in an open air hut. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind I vaguely remember doing this, as a young child, at my Grandmothers neighborhood in Manhattan. The local Jewish community had a communal sukkah they built each year in, I think, a playground. No Sukkah Depot back then (no, I’m not making that up - $1,250 gets you a 12x20 Royal Sukkoh - online).

I remember stuffed cabbage and brisket pot roast. Apparently eating stuffed food symbolizes the harvest, but I’m not a big fan of stuffed cabbage. If I have to choose some stuffed foods, I’m going for lobster stuffed with crab (not tacos) or some pan fried Chinese dumplings. Seeing as both of those are blatantly treif, that doesn’t seem right though. But I’m still not eating stuffed cabbage if I have a choice.

Why brisket? Because it’s a Jewish holiday, and they always have brisket. Like their Irish counterparts, Jewish immigrants were a bit light on dough and so went for what was then about the cheapest cut of beef you could buy. And so a pot roast made with brisket became a holiday meal fixture.

I love brisket, but I now have a huge problem with it– it’s expensive. I broke down and bought one to smoke last week, and it was $4.99 a pound. I could have bought Angus NY strips for that. It’s supposed to be one step above trash. The butcher used to all but it to you. Same price as NY Strip? That’s just wrong. Not going to do it.

I have a better plan. A chuck-based pot roast turns into stuffing for tenderloin. You get your pot roast, you get your stuffed item, you eat tenderloin cost-averaged down to less than the price of brisket. Hah! Nothing’s more traditionally Jewish that a bargain. And it’s mind-bogglingly fabulous.

Beef Stuffed With Beef

One 7 bone or blade roast (probably about 4 pounds)
4-6 tablespoons flour
2-4 tablespoons oil
3 chopped onions
2 cloves garlic, chopped
8 ounces sliced mushrooms
1 bottle Heinz chili sauce
1 cup red wine
1 3-5 pound section of tenderloin

Preheat the oven to 325. Season the roast with S&P and pat it down with flour. Heat oil in a large ovenproof dutch oven, and brown the roast until nicely brown. Remove. Add the onions and mushrooms and sauté until softened, about 5 minutes, then add the chopped garlic. Saute another minute then add the chili sauce and wine, bring to a boil, then reduce heat and add 2 tablespoons flour plus about ½ teaspoon more salt. Return the roast to the pan, cover, and bake for 4 hours. Remove from the oven and allow to cool a bit. The meat will shred easily with a couple of forks. Shred it and mix well to combine well with sauce. If there are burned bits stuck to the bottom, splash in some wine and scrape them up to combine in – that’s good stuff.

Raise the oven heat to 400. Clean the dutch oven, or get a clean roasting pan. Butterfly the tenderloin and pound it so it’s flat and about ¾ inch thick. Spread a ½ thick layer of the shredded beef then roll up jelly roll style and tie with string. Sprinkle with S&P then heat some oil in the roasting pan and brown the tenderloin quickly over high heat. Transfer to the oven and roast for about 30 minutes or until it’s done to no more than medium rare (120 = pretty rare; 135 = medium rare; more = you’re hosed). Remove and let stand for 15 minutes before serving with something that combines fruit, earth and full body like Ridge Geyserville Zinfandel.

Screw Off!

On August 10, 1889 an Englishman called Dan Rylands patented the screw cap. It took nearly 120 years, but the invention is finally gaining respect in the wine world, particularly in Australia and New Zealand. This is one instance, at least to me, where it’s good to get screwed. No dicking around with a corkscrew and cutter, and on the off chance there’s wine left in the bottle it’s a simple matter to close the bottle for polishing off the next day.

D’Arenberg, one of my favorite wineries across the board, has made the move to screw caps on most of their bottlings. Although not on their “Icon” wines: The Dead Arm, The Coppermine Road and The Ironstone Pressings. As serious, world-class wines I guess they‘re compelled to keep with the tradition of the cork, besides which these wines are meant to lay down and the cork is an important tool to verify that the wine has been properly stored.

I had the happy occasion to break open a 2004 Dead Arm last night (thanks Benamatt), as a complement to some massively thick rib eyes. This wine is, in a word, outrageous. Rich, deep, regal purple, with a massive nose of spicy blueberry. Robert Palmer raved about this wine, but he described it as tannic. I don’t know when he reviewed it, but a mere 3 years after bottling – as young as you’d ever want to drink it – the tannins subsided significantly. The texture was like liquid velvet. The taste was a complex blend of mocha, vanilla, blackberry and maybe even a bit of chocolate. Unlike some other D’Arenberg Shiraz, this wine was not at all peppery. Maybe a bit of earth or tobacco, but the general impression is a juicy smoothness that just tastes and feels soothing. A superb wine, and a perfect match to the ribeyes.

Not cheap at around $60, but I’m tempted to call it a bargain because it’s that good. They didn't screw around with this one.

Gross Taste In Food Leads Nixon to Resign

On August 9, 1974 Richard Nixon's resignation took effect, having formally resigned in a speech the prior evening. As a pre-teen, this wasn’t a particularly important event for me but it was obviously a momentous event in American history. As I learned more about Nixon in subsequent years I found him to be a very intriguing guy. He said “I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin, you never know if someone's tape recording what you say” and then proceeded to destroy his presidency by taping himself. He said “I have no enemies in the press” but told the press “you won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore”. He inspired such a level of scorn that Kennedy said "Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Richard Nixon and the White House," and Truman said “Nixon is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar. . . . .He's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides;” yet who also inspired Governor Ahhhnold to become a Republican. And he's a guy who’s favorite lunch was cottage cheese with ketchup on it.

That is, in a word, gross. I mean cottage cheese isn’t particularly appetizing in the first place. Even if adding ketchup improved the taste, the look, texture and idea is just too awful to even try. Personally, I think ketchup is an absolutely necessity for a few select uses: a condiment for burgers, fries and onion rings, a base for BBQ sauces if you don’t feel like starting completely from scratch, and as an occasional use to spice up some other sauces. The only ketchup to use of course is Heinz. However, like Coke, most ketchup including Heinz is loaded with our old friend High Fructose Corn Syrup.

What's the alternative? Banana sauce. It tastes amazingly similar to ketchup, which is somewhat startling since it's not particularly easy to confuse the taste of tomatoes and bananas. Of course ketchup was originally a Chinese condiment made from anchovies, and when it became popular in the West in England it was made from mushrooms. So there's a lot of latitude here. Like regular tomato ketchup, banana sauce varies considerably in taste between brands. Every one I've seen uses real sugar - although in some cases like the Jufran here there's also a bevy of artificial colors and preservatives. Jufran isn't a favorite, but it's what they had the last time I needed it in a hurry. Oriental markets usually have a couple of brands, and it's available in regular and hot. It's fine on a burger although I don't go there because that's Heinz's sweet spot. When I make my annual old fashioned meat loaf, I glaze the top with it. It makes an awesome base for BBQ sauce, which is how I usually use it. A particularly excellent version blends it with coffee: combine 1 cup of it along with 1/2 cup each of cider vinegar, brown sugar, and strong coffee. Simmer this with an onion, a couple cloves of garlic, 2-4 jalapeños, and 2 tablespoons of dry mustard. Puree in a blender, and then use on pork loin or chops, or on chicken wings.

Walking the Plank

From countless hours of observation he knew his preys habits all too well, and so he laid in wait knowing it was only a matter of time. Sure enough, after only the briefest of waits, his quarry was snared. Quickly, and without remorse, he untangled the net; a few sharp blows from a rock and brief flurry of expert blade work, and the bloody act was done. The body was gutted and splayed out on an alder wood litter, and all that was left was to build a fire to finish the deed.

The story of a grotesque murder? No – a Northwestern American Indian dinner party with planked salmon as the featured entre. An easy meal for them and easier for us us because we don’t have to catch and gut the salmon. And really hard to screw up and so most excellent for a large group gathering where the inevitable distractions of the cook can turn a nice piece of fish into trash in 3 minutes. A well soaked plank protects the fish from drying out even if overcooked by a fair bit, and if it is there’s even some upside in more woodsy flavor. Painting the fish with Dijon adds an extra layer of protection; sprinkle it with brown sugar to get a nice crust which you can deepen up with a closely watched 2 minutes under the broiler if desired. Extra bonus: the fish is on its own serving platter/cutting board that you can throw out when you’re done.

The down side is for a large group you need to serve something else since there are too many fish phobic eaters out there. My solution is to grill thick NY strips and then slap the salmon on the grill while the steaks rest.

Although its a classic pairing I stay away from the Pinot Noir with salmon because I’m a stereotyping bastard who believes PN is too often overpriced and hit or miss. I’ve had more bad bottles of Pinot Noir than probably all other wines put together. It wouldn’t hold up to the steak anyway, so you’d have to serve 2 reds at a time plus a white. The solution: merlot, or a medium bodied, low tannin cabernet. Bonus: medium bodied and low tannin should also mean cheap.

There’s no going wrong with good NZ SB as an aperitif that can segue into dinner; these wines are amazingly versatile and everyone seems to love them. We served both Crossings (my take on that is a few entries down) and the 06 Kim Crawford which is a really nice wine; a bit more fruit and less grass than the Crossings, Nobilo, and a lot of other NZ SBs. Still plenty of acidity, a bit steely, and enough different flavors to complement a huge range of food. A good bargain, and I think this one turns up in supermarkets and if so it’s a great last minute pickup.

I had a gifted bottle of 2004 Estancia Cab on hand which I figured would meet the criteria of medium bodied and low tannin. Bingo. It was all that, and also very fruity; a bit sweeter than I’d have imagined, but not at all cloying. It had a nice discernable oak flavor that was still subtle enough that it matched up with the cedar in the salmon. In fact, this was one of the most serendipitous pairings I can remember. It was pretty much dead on perfect with the salmon and was a credible enough match for the steak although you could do far better there. I’m thinking this is a supermarket wine also; I’d buy it for planked salmon and it would make a good generic red pour that would match up well with lots of food.

To go just with the steaks (coffee rubbed) I opened a 2004 Footbolt and my last bottle of ’03 Marambro Creek. No surprises here at all; both wines were thick, jammy, spicy and meaty. The coffee notes of the Footbolt were a great complement to the subtle coffee of the steak. The Marambro was, as I recall, a $11 bottle that really improved over the last couple of years and was definitely a bargain. I’d happily scarf some up again if it was available, but at $15 at Costco the Footbolt is a happy alternative that probably will also benefit from a touch more time.

Today in history: The Ice Cream Cone Not Invented

If you probe around various history sites you’ll be informed that 104 years ago today Charles E. Menches of St. Louis conceived the idea of filling a pastry cone with ice cream and thereby invented the ice cream cone. So a lazy, trusting writer might conclude that this is a momentous day. However, poke around further and you find that nearly 100 years before that there was at least one painting that showed someone eating ice cream from a cone. And over 15 years earlier in 1888a cookbook (Mrs. Marshall’s Cookery Book – a bargain at $212.50 at Amazon) speaks of ice cream served in cones. And that at least two patents were granted prior to this date for machinery to make ice cream cones. So saying that Mr. Menches invented the ice cream cone is approximately the same as saying Madonna invented the breast cone. Apparently, like Madonna, Mr. Menches had an excellent publicist.

BTW, the sort of gluey mouth feel you get from an ice cream cone comes from tapioca flour.

Regardless of who invented it, the ice cream cone was a huge improvement in portable ice cream and soon became the standard for ice cream on the go. It stood as the single biggest innovation in ice cream for ¾ of a century until the 70’s when the world was rocked by Tom Carvel’s release of Cookiepuss – which of course couldn’t have existed without the ice cream cone. The Cookie Puss commercial is a TV classic.

I’ve emailed Masaharu Morimoto to find out what sort of cone – regular, sugar or waffle – he suggests to go with his trout ice cream. I’ll let you know when I get a response.

The Greatest Marketing Coup/Screwup Ever

On July 10 1985 Coca-Cola re-introduced their original formulation after what was perceived as a disastrous move to reformulate their flagship drink in order to fight off Pepsi’s steady erosion of their once-dominant market share. Depending on your point of view, this was a classic example of how you can do everything right and still lose or do everything wrong and still win.

The introduction of the new Coke was actually a success in terms of sales. But Coke’s then-CEO bombed on stage during the launch, stumbling through a description of the new taste smoother, uh, uh, yet, uh, rounder yet, uh, bolder ... it has a more harmonious flavor”. What the hell does that mean? And even though the sales and market research results were in line with Coke’s expectations in most markets, a vocal group of core Coke fanatics complained vociferously enough to give the impression of a bumbling failure, with help of course from the nice folks at Pepsi.

So, 77 days after the new product launch, they announced the return of the old formula – initially as Coke Classic to be sold side by side with new Coke. Peter Jennings interrupted his regular broadcast with the news, and the entire episode moved quickly into lore as one of the greatest corporate blunders in history. Pepsi executives compared it to the Edsel. But in reality, it ended up as a raging success – it firmly established the Coke brand as more than just s soft drink but an engrained lifestyle symbol, Coke sales were invigorated, and it paved the way for later successful brand extensions like Cherry Coke.

Cola drinks were designed essentially as delivery mechanisms for speed – both from coca leaves and caffeine-rich Kola nuts, the two speed sources that gave the original Coca-Cola its name. Neither one of these things adds any real flavor you’d want. And while the Coca-Cola formula is famously top-secret it’s a safe bet neither is still in there. The actual flavor of cola is a combination called fantasia by flavor technicians, which is a mix of citrus flavors, vanilla and cassis or cinnamon.

Cola is great to cook with, other than the fact that its loaded with high fructose corn syrup which isn’t an ingredient most chefs place on their list of favorites. Then again, pretty much any commercial product is loaded with the crap, including Heinz ketchup and most COTS BBQ sauce. If you want to cook with Coca-Cola but avoid HFCS, you have two options. First, in early April, scour the stores in areas with Jewish communities for Kosher for Passover Coke, which is made with cane sugar. Act fast because it’s snapped up quickly. Or plan a quick jaunt to Mexico and grab some Mexican coke, which also is. Or search out Boylans cola. Or just give in to chemistry, grab a chuck roast, and do the following:

- mix 1/2 cup of flour with 2 tablespoons Montreal seasoning

- dust the roast with this, and then sear it in some olive oil in a dutch oven

- toss in a chopped onion, 3 cloves of garlic, a chopped jalapeno, a can of Coke, and a 28oz can of crushed tomatoes

- season with S&P, cover, and cook at 350 for 3 hours

This is a great barbecue–like pot roast which can be either sliced and served or shredded for pulled beef sandwiches.

Listen to your elders

The headliner last night was Sons of Eden Romulus, 2003, a wine that Ben was told compared favorably to D'Arenberg The Deadarm - a very bold statement. Wines of that caliber are worth planning a meal around. A big Aussie Shiraz like that would typically call for simply grilled lamb or other red meat. Although assertive shiraz's are also great with classic BBQ'd ribs - but with a pedigreed wine most experts would recommend against highly seasoned foods like ribs to avoid masking the nuances. I agree, but that's no excuse not to try it. So I made both. After decanting we polished off a bottle of Segura Viudas Reserva Heredad while letting the Romulus open up - as always it was superb, with the dryness, toast and creaminess of vintage champagne at a fraction of the cost.

The Romulus was deep, intense and peppery with a raspberry nose. The ribs - simply rubbed, smoked and very lightly sauced with COTS Baby Rays - did it no justice at all. It was enjoyable, and you could feel the weight and structure, but the sweetness and spiciness of the ribs just flattened out. With the grilled rack of lamb (rubbed with rosemary and garlic) it was a whole different wine. Incense and current flavors became apparent, and the wine was much more balanced. Even after an hour of decanting this wine was still closed and the extra time in the glass really helped. It will certainly benefit greatly from a few years of aging.

Since excess is important to me I also stuffed a chicken with herbed goat cheese and smoked it, and for this I quizzed my trusted adviser JP at the wine shop who suggested a white Chateauneuf-du-Pape or a Sauvignon Blanc because he thought the chicken would overpower a rich wine - better to go with a crisper complement. But I had a buttery chardonnay in mind, and the 2004 Sbradgia Gamble Estate caught my eye.

This is an incredible wine, with unique flavors that has Ben and I struggling to come up with a description. I'd say honey, tropical fruit and watermelon, with just a hint of oak. It had incredible structure with a syrupy consistency that fortunately belied the balanced fruitiness. Really a great wine. However, the chicken did the wine absolutely no justice. Zippo. With the chicken the wine was B-Flat; with a piece of buttered Gruyere bread it was sublime.

The bottle of 2005 Brunel Les Cailloix Chateauneuf-du-Pape JP recommended sits in the fridge - I'm certain it would have been perfect with the bird.

Moral of the story: sometimes you really should listen to your elders.

Hello Dolly

The Roslin Institute in Edinburgh, Scotland worked for years trying to successfully clone a mammal. Finally, in 1996, they succeeded – and on July 5th of that year 6LL3 was born. This was of course a sheep, later renamed Dolly. Suddenly, there was the real prospect that decades of science fiction plots could someday become reality I can’t confirm the reports that the research team had a business plan to market cloned perfect sheep like Dolly in Scotland as “basic pleasure models” ala Blade Runner; it is true however that Dolly had debilitating arthritis that restricted her mobility and would thus render her unable to resist advances from frisky would be paramours. By the way, the proper term for sex with a sheep is tupping.

Supposedly the name Dolly was chosen in honor of Dolly Parton because the animal was cloned from a mammary cell.

Scottish Beauty Pageant

Not being Scottish I don’t have amorous thoughts about sheep; when I think of a sheep I think leg of lamb. I know many people aren’t particularly fond of lamb; it can be gamey and at times tough. But the same commercial practices that removed much of the flavor from supermarket beef and pork have worked in favor of lamb. I’ve found lamb purchased these days is far milder than it used to be and has much less gamey aroma. Lamb really absorbs flavors from marinades and can stand a couple of days in an acidic marinade without getting too mushy. And it develops a fabulous crust when grilled or smoked.

One of the best lamb dishes I’ve made is also one of the easiest. You need a large onion, a half dozen cloves of garlic, some olive oil, and martini fixings (with lemon).

Fix a generous double martini – not too dry. Pour half into a martini glass and add your lemon twist. That’s yours to drink while you proceed. Pour the other half into a blender or food processor. Add a matching quantity of olive oil. Zest in the rest of the lemon peel and squeeze in the lemon juice. Chop the onion and add it along with the garlic and a teaspoon of salt. Blend or process until it’s smooth. Marinate your leg of lamb in this overnight, and then grill or smoke to taste - about 140 for medium rare. If you smoke, use a fruit wood, oak, or grape vines.

This is great with a big Zinfandel – anything from Rosenblum or Ridge. The current cheap Rosenblum (eg Vintners Cuvee) is XXIX which gets back on track as a sub $10 bargain after a couple lesser efforts.

Hell in a Bucket!

 
Anyone can cook up some pasta, toss it with Italian dressing from a jar, and drag it to a pasta night potluck. And then take it home because no-one eats any. But Rebbecca throws in perfectly blanched, fresh green beans and serves it in a pink bucket - cleverly disguising the fact that it cost $3 and took 14 minutes. Presentation is everything!

Fork You, Part 2

 

So this is what the Pasta with Vidalia Onion Sauce looks like as a finished product, at least if you choose to serve in a a cheesy chartreuse melamine bowl. Which you'd do if you were bringing it to a pool where glass isn't allowed.

This time I used 1/2 Chevre, 1/2 crumbled Feta. Better than the original - the saltiness of the Feta is a nice addition.

The Crossings Sauvignon Blanc (06), always a great deal, is a perfect complement to the pasta. There's enough fruitiness - kiwi maybe - to play off the sweetness of the vidalias without getting cloying, and the mineral and sweet pea undertones of the wine go great with the thyme, parsley, and the veggy notes of the onion. This is one of the great wine bargains out there IMHO - a standard bearer for NZ SB, like Cloudy Bay, but at less than half the price. For both of these wines, 03 was a stellar year which the last 2 bottlings didn't quite live up to. However, the 06 Crossings might well (haven't tried the 06 Cloudy Bay yet).

Fork you!

On June 25^th of 1630, the fork was introduced to the colonies by John Winthrop, the then governor of Massachusetts. This was huge. Without the fork the repertoire of sports announcers and trash talking athletes would be light a crucial cliché when there was a decisive event late in a contest. We’d also be forced to say there’s a “Y” in the road, so giving directions would frequently degrade into an Abbott and Costello skit: “Why in the road? Cause I’m trying to get to Albuquerque.” And you’d look totally uncool eating spaghetti. Chopsticks are OK for short distances (which is why the invention of the takee-outee carton was also huge as it not only provides transport from the restaurant but also a perfect container to elevate noodles closer to your mouth). To get all the way from the table you’re at distinct risk of staining your shirt, and if the noodles do make it to your mouth some will invariably hang out, which makes you look like a slob and necessitates uncouth slurping to finish the job. With the fork you can twirl your pasta and get it cleanly and couthly into your mouth.

Even though it was nearly 400 years ago we know the precise date because Governor Winthrop obsessively journalled his travels and travails. If he was around now he’d have a great blog. He documented his journey across the Atlantic in 1630 in fabulous detail. And lots of other interesting things. Like the death of a pervert in 1640: “A wicked fellow, given up to bestiality fearing to be taken by the hand of justice, fled to Long Island, and there was drowned. He confessed to some that he was so given up to that abomination that he never saw any beast go before him but he lusted after it.” And the conviction and hanging of a supposed witch (Margaret Jones of Charlestown), for a slew of reasons including being able to spontaneously grow extra tits (!!!): “she had (upon search) an apparent teat in her secret parts as fresh as if it had been newly sucked, and after it had been scanned, upon a forced search, that [teat] was withered and another began on the opposite side.” That trial would have made a great YouTube.

In honor of the day: a spaghetti recipe that takes advantage of the fact that Vidalia onion are at their peak, and that would be just about impossible to eat without a fork.

Pasta with Vidalia Onion Sauce

1.5 pounds spaghetti or other long pasta
4 large Vidalia onions
2 Tablespoons olive oil
1 cup chicken stock; plus additional
1 Tablespoon sugar
8 ounces goat cheese
1/4 cup chopped flat leaf parsley
2 tablespoons fresh thyme
Parmesan-Reggiano for grating
S&P

Chop 2 of the onions into chunks coarsely; slice the other 2 thinly. Sweat the chopped onions in a tablespoon of oil until tender and translucent; about 5 minutes. Puree in food processor with the stock; add more if you need to get a good sauce consistency.

Saute remaining onions with the rest of the oil and the sugar over medium hear for about 20 minutes until they’re nicely brown and caramelized.

Reheat the sauce gently, cook and drain the pasta, and add it to the sauce and let it heat through for a few minutes. Crumble in the goat cheese, add the thyme, and mix to get the cheese somewhat melted but still a bit chunky. Transfer to a platter, top with the caramelized onions, sprinkle with the parsley, and grate some parmesan over the top.

A Curveball

Why didn't we do hot dogs and beer last night? Cause Phil always brings great wines from his cellar that hot dogs wouldn't do justice to. So what does he turn up with? The 2 wines on the left - Trader Joes specials. Cause his cellar's already packed.

The Contadino Pino Grigio was OK; generic white wine with no remarkable qualities one way or the other. The Cantina Zaccagnini was awful. Sort of like red water with a crappy aftertaste. The Pinossimo, some gifted wine from my grab bag rack, was marginally acceptable as an apertif.

To go with the ribs we grabbed my last bottle of '02 Shotfire. God that's great wine. Inky, complex, chocolaty, lots of blackberry and pepper, just fabulous. And it's all gone. Sniff.

The 2004 Torbreck Woodcutters Shiraz was fine. Jammy cherry with a real spiciness and peppery finish. As I recall about a $20 bottle and if so it's a solid deal.

The ribs were smoked baby backs, with a finishing sauce. On a scale of 1 to 10, these were an 11. The sauce was a new one and it was a home run - concept was a basic sweet BBQ sauce with the addition of 2 of the things I think best complement pork: peanuts and black beans. This is so good I'm not even sure I want to share it. But I will cause I'm that kind of guy.

Peanut Butter Black Bean BBQ Sauce

2 Tablespoons unsalted butter
1 large onion, coarsely chopped
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1 28 ounce can crushed tomatoes
¼ cup ketchup
¼ cup balsamic vinegar
2 Tablespoons fermented black beans
½ cup molasses
¼ cup brown sugar
1 Tablespoon Colemans mustard powder
2 jalapenos, chopped fine
½ cup peanut butter
½ cup red wine
Salt and freshly ground pepper

The Birth of Baseball

161 years ago today the first organized baseball game was played in Hoboken between the Knickerbockers and – how’s this for a catchy name – the New York Base Ball Club. The Knickerbockers got crushed 23-1 – in a 4 inning game!. Sounds like a New York Knick basketball game from last season.

That had to be a pretty boring game. In fact the games had to pretty boring for another 35 years – because they didn’t serve beer at the ballpark yet. Face it - the raison d’etre for regular season baseball is to give you an excuse to sit outside on a nice summer day, drink beer and eat dogs. It wasn't until 1881 that an enterprising St.Louis saloon keeper called Chris Von der Ahe bought the St. Louis Brown Stockings so he could sell beer at their game (the owners had previously refused him permission). You can read about that here. Brilliant! Lore says he was also the first to introduce hot dogs at ball games, in 1893. And further that he’d sit in a special owners box behind 3^rd base with a whistle to get players attention or signal someone to get him a beer.

I’m putting Mr. Von der Ahe on my list of departed I’d like to meet should it turn out there is an afterlife, he and I are in the same place, and they have networking events there.

We’re having folks over tonight and while it’s tempting to celebrate the birth or baseball with dogs and beer that’s not in the cards. We’re graciously helping clear out my friend Phil’s awesome wine cellar before he moves next week, and hot dogs just won’t do justice to anything we're likely to drink. More on the menu later.